[Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. I am posting from Ohio, where Davis and I are getting ready to play a show in Cincinnati tonight. If you’re in the area, come on out and have a burrito with us.

This edition of The HILY Letter was originally published on October 6th, 2019. I’m reposting original editions so that they’ll always be available to you in the archive. New editions will be coming soon!]

In It Together

 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how most self-care suggestions are focused intensely on the individual. Even more than that, in Western countries, self-care is often distilled down specifically to leisure activities - beauty treatments, massages, retail therapy, treating yourself. It also tends to be geared toward folks who work 9-to-5 jobs, are relatively wealthy, able-bodied, and have access to free time.

In short, it's not the kind of care that everyone can actually give themselves.

In fact, many of the activities deemed "self-care" require the labor and effort of folks in the service industries who are rarely afforded any kind of work-life balance. I've been thinking a lot about the ways I might take care of myself and others that doesn't suck the life out of someone else... I don't have the answers, but I am working toward it in my own ways (like trying to support businesses that pay a living wage for my local treat yourself days.)

I think that self-care, when in touch with true compassion and love, naturally extends outward into collective care. Creating structures through which we can be cared for and care for others can provide us with a kind of ecosystem where everyone's needs are met. Idealistic? Absolutely. But I think attempting to connect with and care for others is an investment in our own well-being.

Additionally, as I'm sure you've heard before, helping someone else out can work wonders to lift us out of an emotional funk. Loving up other people is a great way to learn to love yourself up.

As my friend (and wonderful Tarot teacher) Melissa once said to me after I thanked her for helping me with something, "We all win when we all win."

Try This

This week, see if you can help someone who is usually a helper.
Some examples could be:

• Offering an evening of childcare to someone doing great community work.
• Taking a friend whose advice always makes you feel better out for dinner.
• Volunteering some of your administrative skills to an organization you believe in. You might find one that's a great fit through Volunteer Match!
• Giving your nanny a (paid) day off.

...or whatever other creative option pops up for you!
 

Good Feels

• 8-year-old Sydney Russell gets to be Princess Tiana for a day and dances it out with the Disney second line band.
• Did you know octopuses may dream? Me neither.
• After the apocalypse, people will likely help each other more than we think.

On the playlist

Michael Franti & Spearhead remind us how important connection is with their jam, "Once A Day".
Michael said of writing this song,

"Last year I had a really challenging moment when my son was diagnosed with a kidney disease called FSGS (Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis). We thought it would break our family apart, but moving through the initial tears, made us realize life is precious and that we need to hug, kiss and be close to each other every day and through that we could ‘rise up’ and face his illness together. I hope that Once A Day brings inspiration to anyone in this world who is going through challenging times. Through music, dance and gratitude for this life we can all ‘Rise Up’!”

Listen to the HILY Spotify playlist here.

That's all for this week! Remember to drink water, stretch your bod, and hey - I love you.

Xo,

Juliana

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