Hey, I Love You: The Next Small Step

[This letter was originally sent on August 25th, 2019. I’m reposting all of my previous HILY letters to preserve them in the archive, and to reach you again (or for the first time) if you need it. New HILY letters coming soon!

This one struck me as appropriate for today because I’ve been having what is commonly known as A Week. I’m great in a crisis. I’m not as great in three simultaneous crises. The overwhelm has been real and it’s been tough for me to remember that I just need to do a tiny bit at a time. It’s funny how these notes I write to you are also to me, y’know?]

Hi perfectly imperfect human,
I'm writing to you from the middle of West Virginia, where I've stopped on my long drive back from spending a week in Michigan at a summer camp for grown-ups. My inner child was pretty thrilled that I was celebrating my 37th birthday getting to play at the lake, create fun arts 'n' crafts projects, and make s'mores around a campfire. I hope you found a way to indulge your little kid impulses this week, too!
On to your love note...

You only need to take the next small step.

When there are changes you want to make in your life (or sometimes if you're not in a great emotional spot) it can be hard to figure out where to start and what to do next. Even if - often especially if - it's something really important to us, the change can feel so big and out of reach that we get stuck. The monster that is overwhelm can paralyze us if we let it.

Personally, I can go from "Hey, I've got a really neat idea I'd like to pursue" to "OMG everyone else has it figured out, I'm a mess, I'm going back to bed forever" in about three minutes if I allow the overwhelm to catch up with me.

When I feel like that, I take the pressure off by reminding myself that I only have to do the next right thing.... only the very next small step. Sometimes that's writing out a brain dump off all the ideas and to-do lists cluttering up my head. Sometimes it's washing the dishes to clear physical space. Sometimes, it's taking a shower and putting on real clothes (as much as I want to stay in my pajamas all day.) When one step is taken care of, I ask myself what the next small step is and go from there. Eventually, I'm much further along than I thought I would be.

Try This

Take a task or idea that makes you feel a bit overwhelmed and break it down into its smallest possible steps. The more overwhelmed you feel, the smaller your steps should be. So, for example, if you'd really love to clean your whole house up but the idea of it has you so wide-eyed that all you've managed is to hang out in your softest pants binge-watching GLOW for three days, * the first small step might just be getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. Then, just do that one step.

If you feel up for it, try the next very small step...just try not to pressure yourself to get the whole thing/idea/life change accomplished in one go.

*"Gee, Juliana, that's a really specific example," you might say. And I'd say, "I don't know what you could possibly mean by that."

Good Feels

• Some promising research on nanotechnology and multiple sclerosis that could impact other auto-immune conditions.
• This tweet a woman posted of her 76-year-old grandfather getting his citizenship after waiting 19 years.
• Storm the Pibble celebrates her first Adopt-a-versary with her humans.

On the playlist

Ben Folds Five's "Do It Anyway" is this week's addition to the HILY Spotify playlist.
Be sure to check out the amazing video featuring characters from Fraggle Rock!

That's all for this week! Remember to drink water, stretch your bod, and hey - I love you.