New Year, Same You

Hi there.

This is not a marketing email, nor is it an invitation to join any sort of program or a coupon for fitness equipment. You’re welcome.

I think I am finally coming to terms with writing “2025” on things. This year has certainly come in hot and chaotic, and I find myself heartbroken and tired but also quietly motivated for a new season. I’m free of boots/casts/crutches/scooters for the foreseeable future and that has me feeling hopeful despite it all.

My physical therapist asked me yesterday what my New Year’s Resolutions were. Luckily, he seemed happy to hear I didn’t have any and thus spared himself my rant about Resolution Culture.

We’re almost three weeks into January and some of you may already be side-eyeing your juice cleanse/gym membership/strict budget/reading list. I want you to know I’m with you. And if we were sitting across from each other, talking over cups of coffee, I would tell you to chuck it. I’m not trying to be a bad influence; I’m trying to be a good friend.

If you’ve been around awhile, you may remember that I am notoriously not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Partly because we turn ourselves inside out trying to accomplish Big Things because of an arbitrary date on the Roman calendar, and partly because we’re just wintering mammals… but mainly I reject messaging around the idea that you have to suddenly and completely change yourself every year, or beat yourself up for not having suddenly and completely changed last year.

Achievable, actionable goals are great. Incremental, slow, positive growth is great. I hope, always, to be a more compassionate and engaged human being than I was before - I think a lot of us want that. But resolutions aren’t it.

Resolutions mostly serve to make people feel bad about themselves because we make Big Declarations that aren’t sustainable (and often involve depriving ourselves) and then feel awful when we fail…when we have set ourselves up to fail.

Do you want to try to move more than you have in the past? Improve your sleep patterns? Finally read Octavia Butler? Awesome. I think these are worthy pursuits that will make you feel better on the whole. But do I think you should pressure yourself with perfectionism at the expense of your mental and physical health? Absofuckinglutelynot.

It turns out you aren’t a different person than you were three weeks ago.

You’re still inching toward growth, sometimes succeeding and sometimes deciding to try again or do it differently.

We’re almost three weeks into January, and you’re still you. That’s great. I like you the way you are.

Xo,

J.