I know what my resolution is...which is not to resolve.

Hi.

Here’s a little ramble that I’m writing in real time and hitting send as soon as it’s done. I don’t have an editor, and if I did, she’d probably be mad I do it this way, but here we are.

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I took most of this week off from working, hoping to rest, and somehow still managed to feel exhausted. Why am I tired when I haven’t really done anything? Scrolling through my social media feed this morning helped me pinpoint part of it:

I’m tired from the pressure to make resolutions. I’m tired of trying to find resolve.

I am tired of all of the ads fed to me by the algorithm promising me better sleep, abs, style, and sex through the use of aspirational products. It’s Dry January! The gyms are packed! You’re up early, hydrating, making a five-year plan for your pets!

Look - there’s a reason that puritanical is not typically used as a compliment…and it calls to mind the word tyrannical. The idea that an arbitrary change of date compels us to dedicate our lives to being more, better, best is just that. A puritanical idea that striving and working are the only moral goals, and that stopping to rest or experience pleasure or just be a human mammal represents a moral failing.

We don’t like this stuff, but we still let it affect us. Even my most confident friends seem to spend a good part of January trying to identify where they’re failing or what they need to change. It’s relentless.

I’d like to pose the question - cui bono?

I haven’t done any real research on this, but my thought is that January is usually a pretty slump-y month for sales in most industries. Lots of people went overbudget for the holidays and took advantage of various sales and now things are quieter. People aren’t buying things. People in the Northern Hemisphere are settling in for a cozy winter and maybe enjoying some quiet.

Again, we’re mammals. We have the same desire as most creatures at this time of year, which is to move into a slower pace, to conserve resources, and allow growth to happen underground where it might be invisible for a while.

Cozy, quiet, and peaceful mammals are not great for business.

The message of Resolution Culture is that you are not allowed time for slowness. Hibernation is for suckers. A productive member of society is one who is worried they are not enough and don’t have enough. The self-improvement train is leaving the station, and anyone not on board is left behind.

I don’t make resolutions. I haven’t for over a decade. I like to reflect on how I want my year to feel and what I can try to incorporate to support that feeling, but my “goals” intentionally never include weight loss, giving up things I actually like, or trying to become a version of myself that an Influencer would be proud of. Those pursuits don’t work, and they don’t feel good.

One of the best things I ever did for myself was to stop resolving. I invite you to do the same.

I don’t mean that you shouldn’t have any aspirations. I just mean that you shouldn’t let societal ideas about what kind of person is worthy dictate what those aspirations are. And you definitely don’t need to buy a course or a plan or a membership or a product that’s going to “change your whole life” when your resources would be better spent elsewhere (or conserved for the long Winter).

Let’s rebel.

Let’s put on fuzzy socks and sit by the fire and read a library book.

Let’s make tea.

This rebellion is cozy af.

Xo,

J.

write. play. repeat. is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.